First blog post of the year; happy new year to all!!

Before I make anymore promises - not saying I've went back on anything I've already promised - I'll be sure to keep Music Wednesdays a weekly article. Unless I'm really busy; but these day's I've got much time on my hands.^^ Now, I'd like to wish everyone out there a blessed new year! Last night I learnt to give of my best; irregardless of a good or bad situation. For some odd reason - this also explains why I didn't blog as much recently - I've been having a sour mood and a tour of a sulky december. This foreshadow of a moody holiday in Korea, reflected my behavior in december. Most of you wouldn't have realised this predicament I was in. That's because I have an automated facade that I put on infront everyone to show that I'm superficially alright; a lot of times, it's the random mental thoughts I have that could be either morally wrong, sadistic, perverse, or all of the above. Most of the time when I confide in my brother or cousin, I can't find the words to express myself. After I found it hopeless to confide in anyone, then nothing but suicidal thoughts came to mind. Which eventually led to two occasions where I attempted suicide. This must've been a result of my craving for grunge music. Those dark lyrics, mentally unsound melodies; may not reflect suicide, but relate to it. It has been a long time since I last truely felt happy, last night was exceptional. Last evening, more specifically at 6, my parents and I set off to fetch my grandparents to dinner at my cousin's house. I was in my anti-social behaviour; intending to have had done two hours worth of sudoku puzzles, go sleep by the couch after dinner. Instead, I had somehow suggested a karaoke - yes, my cousins have a karaoke programmed via the TV. I had suggested such, not intending to be social, but to simply kill time. In the end, I - to my surprise - gradually, thoroughly enjoyed singing my heart out. I was actually putting in much effort to sing. Best effort I put in, in quite a while. Before this, I was talking with my cousin about my situation, trying to get an explanation of why I shouldn't contemplate suicide. Instead, all I took away from that conversation, was that my cousin really cares for me. Turns out, all I needed was a fun time to let me see that life is worth living. That led to my conclusion, "Give your best, through each endeavour despite the good-or-bad situation you might be in". That's all for today! Wait for Music Wednesday, coming up soon!